Category Archives: Business Hurdles

Emotional Intelligence in a Virtual World

The technology world advances around us instantly, and there is no question that technology changes and influences the way we interact with one another. Teams are able to collaborate and strategize in virtual forums across large regions. We communicate and meet people that may have never crossed our paths without the web capabilities. It is vital in the global marketplace to have the ability to communicate virtually and it is certainly welcomed. Even for those that want to fight social networking or virtual meetings it’s hard to avoid using one of the social media sites. Over a billion people use Facebook to communicate with friends and family, over 260 million people use Linkedin for business, over 70 million use Pinterest, and over 230 million Twitter users. All of these tools potentially add great value to our life and interactions. My question is, are the constant online and virtual communications jeopardizing our “emotional intelligence”? Do we now have a greater need to educate ourselves on Emotional Intelligence and why it is so important?

What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer are leading researchers on emotional intelligence, they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990). It is often questioned if you can improve your EQ or if it’s an inborn characteristic. I believe your EQ can be improved and therefore also can be hindered. The more we rely on communication from a distance or through the internet we take ourselves out of face to face communication. Yes, you are still communicating and you are still able to foster relationships. However, you cannot recreate all social interactions virtually. So how do we better our Emotional Intelligence when the world is becoming more virtual?

Ways to Increase Emotional Intelligence in a Virtual World

Improv Workshops. Provide and attend corporate training and workshops that will allow your team to engage directly and face to face. I am continually amazed how many businesses communicate solely from email and instant messaging. Many of the people in the same building talk all day through email without ever saying word in person. Businesses have increasingly turned to Improv Training to assist with team building and people skills. Employees and Management can become consumed with the idea that they have too much to do to attend company meetings. The exact opposite is true if the training is effective. Building a sense of team within your organization will increase productivity. It is important for the culture of the company to start from the top and filter through the company. Improv Workshops for business help your team to understand the different personality types. Improv teaches the teammates to work together and to make each other look good. When the teammates make each other look good they create a quality project and create a strong partnership within the organizations.

Networking Groups. If your company is remote or you have limited interactions with others during the day attending networking events. Networking Groups generally are excited to welcome new members and make connections. The group will help you learn about different personalities and businesses. Even if you believe you have amazing people skills it is still important to utilize those skills and make face to face interactions.

Engage in Real Communication. When you are communicating with connections on facebook, twitter, linkedin, or pinterest try to find a real connection. Does this mean you need to call them all or meet each one for coffee? No. Take the time to notice their post and add insight. You can like comments, articles, and posts. On occasion take time to understand the person you are connected to and empathize with their reasons for communicating. We have a tendency to make assumptions without truly understanding the person that is posting. Many people are quick to start debates on a post or blog. It’s very easy for information to be misinterpreted because they did not understand the person’s thought process.

Technology, medicine, architecture, science, and many other industries require a high level of intelligence to help advancements. The same is true for communication and social skills you need to study and practice the science of emotions and people’s interactions. Social Media sites help to connect friends and contacts, and it is important to build on the social interactions past the email, post, or text messages. Take the time to understand the people you interact with and examine your own interactions. Emotional Intelligence will help you in your professional and personal life, and for some of us it comes more natural and for others it needs be to explained and practiced.

Victim of Email

A few years ago, I was meeting with a client. This was not my first time meeting the client and we had a developed a strong business relationship. We had met several times before including meetings before I earned his business, and then on a fairly regular basis when he became my client. Each time I met with him, I always amazed by his calm demeanor and the attention he gave to our meeting. I was impressed because most of my other clients in similar roles to his were always somewhat preoccupied, rushed for time, and were almost always looking at their phones. It is not that they did not see our meeting as important, they were just busy and they had lots of fires going on around them.

So during this one particular meeting with my client, we started talking about productivity and his secret to getting things done and not being reactionary to things that were happening throughout the day. His secret…he only checked his email twice a day. He checked his email in the morning and again at the end of the day. He turned off the notifications and alerts and went about his day looking at his list of things to do. At first, my question was “what if you miss an important question or request”. He quickly told me that if someone really needed information he could be reached on his phone. Most of the time emails that come through are quick questions that will only take a minute to answer, and many times the question could wait for an answer. When you stop to answer those quick questions you pull yourself away from the tasks you are currently involved in, and then you begin the quick cycle of losing attention and time.

Here is what I learned to help stop being a victim of email.

Check Email Twice a Day. Start your day going through email. Answer questions, file responses, and for things that need more attention add those to your list. At the end of the day check for new emails and do the same as the morning. You will be able to answer and file quickly as opposed to starting and stopping other tasks.

Teach people how to communicate with you! When you are meeting with prospects, clients, and partners explain to them that you do not check your email on an hourly basis. Explain to them that you do respond to email at the end of the day, and if they need immediate attention to call or text you. Set an automated response, thank the sender for the email and advise them that you check email at the end of the day. You are informing senders that email is a great way to get you information, however if they need immediate attention they need to call you directly. Most things can wait.

Use Email to Recap Information. This does not mean that the end of each phone call or meeting you immediately send an email. Take notes during the call or meeting and send a follow up email during your scheduled email time. Take time to focus on what needs to get done and make use of email recaps during your email time. You will be surprised how much gets done when you use email only at the designated times.

Things Get Resolved On Their Own. Have you ever been a part of email chain that creates 10 to 20 other emails? Imagine coming on the back end of the email. You miss the 20 emails that are exchanged and can skim through the emails to see what else if anything needs to be done. Most of the time you are copied on the email to keep you in the loop or minimal input. You will be amazed at how many things are taken care of and you didn’t spend an hour reading all the responses as they swarmed your inbox.

Email is a a great way to communicate. It helps to put information and thoughts in writing. You are able to go back and find conversations that took place in the past. Email is a great forum to give updates and to transfer information within a group and share documents. My problem with email is that it has the potential to completely take over my day if I allow it to. You will be amazed when you stop a simple distraction such as email and make it a task of it’s own.

Be Inspired by Great Leaders

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is a great day to celebrate a man that worked so hard for what he believed in. He was persistent, hardworking, aggressive, passionate, and strong! If I can strive for only a quarter of the passion and dedication that MLK possessed I know that my life both personally and professionally will be worthwhile.

Thank you, Martin Luther King Jr., for reminding me today and on every other day that it’s important to fight for what you believe in, and never to give up. People may not like it and they may even try to stop you. Usually doing the right thing is the hardest. Doing whats best for the greater good and sacrificing your own freedom and comfort is BIG!

The world has leaders and followers. If you choose lead make sure you have a good reason to fight. You are asking people to take a chance and follow you….so make it worthwhile and stay the course. If you choose to follow make sure you know why you are following, leaders need friends and supporters. Don’t turn your back on your leaders when the going gets tough. Take a stance and do what’s right. Today I celebrate a man that gives me hope and inspires me to do things in my life that are not just good enough….they are great and done for the right reason!

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

I almost gave up…..

I was a few months into my first outside sales job. The first month was so exciting and I was ready to take on the world and then I had this serious breakdown about 90 days into the job and I got scared. REALLY SCARED! I had never experienced this feeling in other jobs. In the past, if I was given a task I completed it and moved on to the next. I always did as my boss asked and there were not too many variables to get in my way. This sales thing though……was like something I never experienced. I was doing everything I could and was not getting the Sale. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?!?! I had called hundreds if not thousands of people. The receptionists were starting to actually like seeing me stop by. I had attended networking events on a regular basis.

The worst part about my paranoia, was that my peers were bringing in new deals and they did not seem to be stressed. At that moment, I was fortunate enough to work with someone that talked “some” sense into me and walked me off the ledge. My coworker explained to me what was going on. She had been in sales for years and so had my peers. They had built up their networks and contacts overtime, and their clients knew to call them without thinking about any other options. I was the newest rep on the block and had just introduced myself to the world. I needed to keep my head up and keep plugging along. Eventually, I would see the rewards. She explained to me that she went through the same situation when she started and told me you need to build a pipeline. You need to find opportunities and stay on top of them. I watched the pipeline like a hawk and stayed on every single opportunity no matter how big or small.

My coworker’s pep talk helped me a for a few weeks and then I was scared again….until one day I had a email message requesting a meeting to talk about services and pricing. I had called on this prospect for months and finally I heard back. I had stopped by, called, and emailed for months, and each time I reached out they were too busy to meet. They were polite and busy at the same time. I was getting used that from most of the prospects, so that day when I opened my email from them I nearly cried. They actually wanted to buy something and FROM ME! I quickly responded and we scheduled a meeting. The day of the meeting I was so excited to go to their office. I even brought my office manager so he could assure them we would handle their orders to the best of our ability. We parked at a meter outside their office and I paid for an hour. Let me tell you that was the best parking ticket I ever received because my meeting went over an hour and we sealed the deal. From that day forward, I decided to never give up because the feeling you get when you win after you try so hard is the best feeling I have ever experienced in my professional career.

So on the days I feel defeated and I want to give up I remember that if I keep trying I will feel that win again if I stay the course! To earn a prospect’s trust and business is an amazing compliment and truly a win to celebrate!

Is Your New Years Resolution Holding You Back?

So are you that person that says in the New Year I am going to start doing something or change a bad habit? Do you let yourself slide or fall short in the month of December because in the New Year you will fix everything that went wrong? According to a report from the University of Scranton only 8% of people stick to a New Year resolution. With those kinds of statistics is it even worth setting yourself up for a failed commitment? I am here to advise you that this year you should skip the resolution and make changes and improvements when you are READY!

Traditions: It’s A Ritual To Try and Fail

The worst thing you can do is create resolutions year after year to be broken. It’s as if you know you have failed every year and just for fun you are setting another soon to be failed goal…..because it’s a ritual. Break your ritual. Do not set the resolution until your are ready to take on the habit. If you are ready on January 1st then that is when you start. If you are ready on March 31st then that is when you start. Unless you are in the 8% that stick to your resolution then it would be advised to take on your resolution during a time when you “want” to change.

Easy Gratification: Results with Habits

Many people make resolutions that only have a result in mind. Such as I am going to lose 30 pounds, increase my sales by 50%, run a marathon, or get a better paying job. I am not saying these are bad goals or resolutions….they just aren’t resolutions they are results. If you are set on reaching these resolutions you need to be ready to create habits to help you reach the desired goal. In order to reach that result I need to create successful habits and practices. For many of us the only habit we create with resolutions is the habit of creating another “failed New Year Resolution”. You have given yourself a pass to fail because that’s what people do with most New Year Resolutions.

Commitment: Creating Goals is Not Just for Fun

Commitment and goal settings should NOT be done for fun or because everyone else is doing it. Goals and the efforts to reach them are big achievements. The feeling of accomplishment for small and big goals is an overwhelmingly good feeling. It will help build your confidence and the feeling of pride. To make a mockery of goal setting creates a mindset of “it’s okay to quit” or regret.

So this year free yourself from the pressure and only make goals and commitments when you are available to reach for the targets. Whether your goals are business or personal related break the trend of setting yourself up for an “acceptable” broken resolution. It should never be acceptable to let yourself down with goals let alone create a tradition out of it.

Never Run Out of Prospects

One of the most interesting questions I have heard asked many times in my life as a sales person and sales manager is “what do you do when you run out of people to call”. That questions shocks me every time. At first I stop and think they are not serious and then I realize they are serious. Every sales person depends on finding new leads and opportunities to put in their pipeline. How do you find those leads? Here are a few tips that have always worked for me….and trust me I have never ran out of people to call on.

First, start thinking outside the box!

There really is no wrong way to find leads there are just better ways. Go to where you customers are. Join the associations your customers are members of, and get involved. Go to events even when you think its optional. I have dragged myself to countless events that I could have not attended and every time I go I end up thanking myself for the new leads or connections I gained. Become a peer to your prospects and clients. Show them you care about their business needs by supporting what they support. Do things your competitors do not make time to do. Offer solutions to your prospects.

Second, pay attention!

Read your local business publications. Listen to the radio. It sounds simple and it is all you have to do is pay attention to what is going on around you. Also, when you are driving look out for billboards or signs for potential clients. When you go to an office building pay attention to other potential clients that have businesses in that building or near. Listen to your current clients. You will be surprised what information and new leads can be generated just from listening to your current clients. Perhaps they have a need for a service or product you sell that is not what you originally intended on offering. Have conversations with people even if you think they do not have a need for your service. It’s amazing how many new prospects come out of situation when you least expect them to.

Third, rework old leads!

Call back old leads and try a new approach. Perhaps you called them in July and the person who took your call had a bad day, and now when you called back in December they are in great spirits. Ask yourself a few key questions about prospects. Why should this prospect meet with me over the other 20 people who called today? Why do they need my service or product? Is it important for them to meet me and if its not why am I calling them? Do I have a solution for them that I didn’t have 6 months ago. Create follow up task while prospecting and make sure you go back to those actions items. Never give up on your leads. Business changes, people change, trends change, competitors change, and industries change.

Apply these 3 basic principles in your search for new leads and you should always have unlimited possibilities and a very busy schedule for prospecting!

Jealousy Doesn’t Look Good in a Suit

I remember it like yesterday although it was almost 30 years ago. I was a little girl and my older sister was in the town parade. She looked beautiful and was getting lots of attention. She got to ride in a fancy car, holding roses, waving and smiling to the crowd. I don’t remember why she was in the parade but I remember watching her and wishing it was me. My sister was always the prettiest girl in the group and it was “easy” for people to like her and want to shower her with attention.

We came home from the parade that day and I felt left out and I was sad really sad. I went to my room and cried. I felt like it was no fair that she was getting this attention. That was the day I learned one of my most valuable lessons. My mom came in to my room and she had no pity for me. She told me to stop crying and that I was being jealous. Jealous…what is that? I asked her to explain. She told me that I was feeling sorry for myself, because someone else was getting attention for an achievement. My mom explained what jealousy was, told me to get over it, and never feel that way again. I was shocked that my mom was not going to comfort me in my moment of need. I wanted to feel like my sister, but instead I felt shafted and hurt. After my mom left it hit me that my sister being in the parade had nothing to do with me. My sister didn’t hurt me and certainly she didn’t want to make me sad. She had earned that opportunity to be in the parade. It was her moment and I would have moments in my life where I would want my sister to be happy for me.

So what does my childhood moment of jealousy have to do with business? It has a lot to do with business. I see jealousy daily in the business world. Sometimes I even start to feel “jealous”. So as soon as I start to hear myself say “I am jealous”, I immediately switch to the thought of I am really happy for that person. The people you are happy for will be there to cheer you on.

Jealousy can run rampant in a sales team. Being part of a sales group always it’s imperative to strive to be number one, and especially important to always be happy for others when they win. If you can sincerely be happy for others and recognized the fruit of their labor you will learn from them. Luck runs out and hard work pays off.

Successful people sometimes get looked down upon because jealous people wonder why they can’t have what the successful people have. If you spend all your time worrying about what others have you will never make time to get what you want out of your career and business. Celebrate the success of your peers, partners, bosses, and companies. If you think they are undeserving then you need to make a choice to not be a part of their group. If you work for a boss that takes credit for your work look for a new job. If you find yourself secretly wanting others to fail then you will fail. If you think successful people got lucky or had things handed to them then you are spending too much time worrying about those “lucky” people.

Don’t let career envy scare you from overcoming challenges. Most of the people you are envious of have great stories of working hard and making their way to where they are. Work harder and set high expectations for yourself. Take the energy that you would spend worrying about others and worry about you and your goals. Jealousy usually shows and I haven’t met anyone it looks good on especially in a suit.